A programmer puts two glasses on their bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case they get thirsty, and an empty one, in case they don’t.

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Because they cannot C#.

When a programmer is born, what are their first words?

Hello world!

How do you tell HTML from HTML5?

Try it in Internet Explorer. Did it work? No? It's HTML5.

Why did the programmer quit their job?

They didn't get arrays.

What's the obeject-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance.